and whatnots.

i'm supposed to be starting on my thesis now but i have no idea how to start.
i'm supposed to be really busy now but i am not.
somebody help me.
yikes.


it's quiet here but the brain isn't.
stop it.

changes?
or realisation?

when i was young, my cousin told me, the higher the position at which you hold your chopsticks, the further away you will live from your parents in the future.
i hold my chopsticks near the further end.
so does that mean i will leave far away from my parents in the future?

i wonder, sometimes.
do we wanna get attention?
or are we looking for a response?
or is it just to vent?

i feel like a confused teenager all over again, zits included.
(don't doubt that i have zits cos i really do! :s)

gosh i feel like killing myself sometimes.
seriously, despite the fact that i got O for my whole JC year 1 life, math was never really a major problem for me.
yet why has it come to haunt me now?
i actually can't do simple math stuff like counting how much solution i should add in order to get the amount of cells i want, and dilution factors give me headaches at times.
gosh what in the world is wrong with me!?
isn't it ironic that math is the one that's causing my experiments to go wrong, rather than the experiment itself, or my experimental techniques??
tsk.
i really felt so so paiseh in front of Eunji, i felt so so so stupid.
luckily though, that my supervisor is Eunji, for she didn't once give me a feeling that she thought i'm stupid though maybe she does lol.
and thank goodness too that at least we discover it now, rather than to not get results at all without even knowing it's all because of such a silly mistake.
as my primary school teacher used to say, it's better to be a fool for one minute than to be a fool forever.
yikes.
WAKE UP, ANNA NG!!!

and i feel hell exhausted.
don't know how i'm gonna drag my feet to lab tmr :x
and i have a feeling it's gonna be a long long day.
on the bright side, Jeju-do was fun though! ^^
picturesque scenery, nicest taxi driver i've ever met, equally nice pension owner, good food...
and of course also because i got to ride a horse by the sea!
damn cool la!
and not just like sit on it and the horse just stroll (though for the most part it was so).
the horse actually galloped!
can't express how enjoyable a moment it was haha.
really grateful to the very nice 택시 아저씨 who remembered and brought us there on his own.
really really very nice guy.
i miss him already HAHA.
yikes okay out!

yikes i can't say enough how indebted i feel towards the lab members.
seriously, the amount of care and help they have showered upon us.
and yesterday, after i said we wanna go to Jeju-do, my gosh it was like going to a travel agency!
they scrambled to help us search the web and call countless numbers to find tours, flights, accomodation.. basically everything for us, while we just stood around watching.
and that was while they were in the MIDST of their experiments gosh.
and it took them like 3 hours at least la.
really damn paiseh.
somemore they gave us break and they still have to work so hard to help us have our vacation.
and today, Injin still called our cab driver in Jeju-do twice to ensure everything's okay.
gosh calls out of Seoul are not cheap too.
yikes.
i really feel DUPER indebted.

and today's cab driver is yet another super duper kind, nice and thoughtful person.
and i feel so bad towards him.
long story, yikes.
paiseh la.
gotta treat him better somehow tomorrow.

i feel like i should reflect on my character after getting to know all these superbly wonderful people/
yikes.

Christmas is coming!!! ^^




and i'm free for the rest of the week!
shucks.

presentation is in 2 hours' time and my results will only be out half an hour before presentation.
yikes.
and i still don't know how to explain my results shucks.
wish me luck!

and on a random note, as i was practising what to say for presentation, i suddenly recalled how my mum used to teach me to read during oral examinations.
"remember your "-ed"s, "-t"s and "-s"es, don't forget to up and down ah!".
up and down referring to intonation of my speech.
and thus this was how i used to read for oral (using a random sentence i made up):
"The little boy waS depressED and startED to eaT." (in a very exaggerated intonation)
on hindsight, i really wonder how the examinors managed to sit through the session with me and still gave me relatively good results.
lol.